May 23... already?

Good morning everyone. Has it really been nearly three weeks since we last posted? Where is the time going? How 'bout a little run down on the fam...

Chris has been doing good. He has not been working a lot at the railroad, which is fine right now because he gets paid whether he's working or not! Of course, when it's time for BNSF Railway to trim the fat, it doesn't look so good when a lot of employees are sitting at home collecting guarantee, and position cuts are always a fear since Chris is low on the seniority totem pole. Almost six years with the railroad and still low on seniority, at least here in Klamath Falls. What a strange terminal. Of course if we transfer up north to Portland or Seattle he would do quite well, but we like it here in quiet ol Kalamity Falls. He is still with the Air National Guard, in fact, he just completed a week of annual training last week. He's due for reenlistment in a few months and is still unsure on if he wants to continue or end his military career at the 10 year mark. As far as his position with the police department, he resigned last week for personal reasons. It was a hard decision, but it felt like the time to let it go had arrived. College continues to weigh him down like a ton of bricks, and not because of his procrastination or anything! :) He never went past Algebra or Geometry in high school (breezed by on the California state minimums for public ed!) and is trying to figure out this calculus stuff. He is still attending Oregon State University and finds it's a little difficult to communicate with classmates that are generally 12 years younger then he is, but he's managing. Tomorrow he will start a one year Certificate of Biblical Studies program with Moody Bible Institute's Distance Education program. He is really looking forward to studying the bible in depth, but also fearing double the coursework for the next year attending two schools at the same time!

Enough about him, how about Shawna?!? She is FANTASTIC. She finally kicked most of that morning sickness that plagued her morning and night. She is feeling much better and can still manage three ornery kids with the best of em. And oh boy is she starting to show. Her belly is sticking out something fierce! We have enjoyed feeling the baby at nights moving around. Her ultrasound appointment is next week, although we won't find out what he/she is until birth. The growing consensus is that it's a boy. Both Chris and Shawna (as well as Matty and Katie) think it's a boy. But then again, three girls will do that to ya. She continues to be an awesome wife and mother and recently finished Matty's home schooling for the summer. Of course being the great mother and teacher she is, she is still keeping Matty on her toes with daily flashcards of states/capitals, presidents, countries, landmarks, and of course bible study. Matty is smarter now at six than Chris was at 16 (ok, 29), pretty awesome.

I guess that also pretty much sums up Matty. She has really buckled down on learning and is excited to see dad working on graphing like she is (dad is working on trigonometric functions and Matty is graphing dimes/nickels/pennies, but it's all the same and she is so excited!). She is so smart and beautiful and is sure to give daddy a nervous breakdown in about 7-10 years.

Katie, dear sweet Katie. She is also doing wonderful. Still giving mom and dad some attitude, but still so sweet and loving. She is a fireball and we couldn't imagine it any other way. Our little free-spirited hippy has also been doing some school and can proudly write her name. In fact, we found our calendar on our desk with her name spelled at the bottom, and every square box for each day of the month had a big K (not the discount chain store) in it. It was so cute. She is also doing much better with Joy, she still relishes being bigger from time to time, but she is also a lot more patient with her and plays with her often. She is VERY excited to start swimming lessons (again) next week. Shawna just bought her a 4T (she's only three) swimsuit and it is almost too small. She is so tall, but skinny as a rail!

Joy, our little "cocoa-bear" is doing great. In fact Shawna and I were looking at pictures of her from Ethiopia and it dawned on us how the past two months has changed her. She is so lively now, she is thinning out (in a good way) and her eyes are so much more alive. Her skin even looks much better. She is happy most of the day and loves mixing her time with playing in the play kitchen making food for the family to just hanging out near mom and dad. We celebrated her two year birthday on May 11. Shawna made a brownie cake (all organic of course!) in the shape of Ethiopia. We had a good time. Food time is better. She has learned to use utensils quite well and although we work with her, she still inhales food and then looks around at everyone else eating and is surely thinking, "well that's not fair, they still have food!" We have definitely made some vast improvements, but some days are still a little rough, especially around food time. She still falls into a trance whenever we're making or eating food. It is a work in progress.

Let's switch gears here. As far as bonding, it has been... good. I hold at great. There were awesome improvements during the first week of bringing her home, so much that I don't think mom and dad quite caught up. Sometimes it's so difficult to have a toddler who you know very little about, throw in the fact that she can't speak and is learning to communicate with you through any means necessary (generally fussing), and it's a recipe for frustration for everyone involved. Everyone is doing great, don't get me wrong, but there's still something there, a gap of communication and trust. To be honest, the author of this blog (we'll call him Dhris to keep his anonymity) wondered if he was moving backwards with her. A lot of prayer later and he realized it was he that had some disconnect with her. Sometimes it's hard to look at her and say, she is my daughter. She looks nothing like us, she acts nothing like us, so what makes us love each other? Well my friends and family, although obvious to most, sometimes it's oblivious to those involved, and Chris... I mean Dhris, realized it's the love of God through him that he needs to show, the rest will follow. Ok, switching to the more direct first person for the conclusion here. I look at Matty and Katie and see products of me. They are mine, from me, since the day they were conceived. And when I look at Joy, I see a beautiful girl, but do I really see her as mine. The paperwork says so, but does my heart? Sadly I realized that I allowed the paperwork to be the overall say here. I had to get my heart involved, truly involved. If God can love us as his adopted children through Christ, then surely I can love this little girl whom He blessed to us. I have always loved her, ever since I first saw her picture eight months ago, but the genuine love of a father to a daughter, that close bond, that is what I've been working on, and I am happy to say I think the connection is growing so much more since realizing it. It will take some time no doubt, but that's one thing we have, we'll learn from each other, I have faith.

Okay, there you have it, a little insight to the heartache of adopting a toddler from the father's perspective. Now to change back to semi-third person with sarcasm. Adoption is not this bliss of ecstatically charged happiness. It takes work, commitment, and more patience than people have, hence the fallback from time to time. But it is definitely worth every difficult moment, every moment of pain, frustration, anger. Just to see a glimpse, a sparkle, a minuscule amount of the love God must have for us is breathtaking, who am I that He loves me so much? Who am I that Christ Jesus, his son, died for me? Have you ever asked yourself that?

So what else has the family been up to? Well, nothing and everything. We have been so very busy. The kids start swim lessons again at the Y next week. They are really looking forward to that. It's been too long since they've been in the water. We're also ramping up for summer and plan to do some very fun things. We will definitely plan on a lot of camping, a lot of picnicking, and whatever else that may come up. The past two summers Chris has spent half of the summer away with the military (2008 was Alaska, and 2009 was Idaho), so we are due some good times in the hot weather.

We are also getting the garden ready for the year and will plan to blog its progress. We have had one since building this house in 2006, but I think with our renewed energy and awareness of food, we plan to maximize its use. The weeds are pulled, the compost is spread and Chris will till it in this week. This area is a little strange, weather wise. Chris spent two days in the backyard getting it ready for the season, and as he finished spreading the compost, it decided to snow. What the heck, aren't we almost in June? The past couple of mornings has been well below freezing (in fact it's 22 degrees right now) but the forecast looks promising. We will get our organic starts from a nursery we trust and plan to get them into the ground towards the end of the week, and if needed use some floating row covers to protect from another unusual cold snap.

Well that's enough for now. It's nearly time to start getting ready for church. We love you all, thanks for being patient with us. Sometimes it's easy to forget to post even a quick update. I would love to post some pictures, but am on the laptop and all the good pictures are on the other computer. You can always check them out on Facebook but I will try to work at getting some on here. Take care and God Bless!